“You miss 100% of the shots shots shots shots shots shots you don’t take.” – Lil Jon
That’s right boys and girls, the Empire Medical Tournament Challenge is back like shingles. Don’t miss your shot at generational wealth. It’s gonna be YUGE! We even came up with our own catchy slogan: MMMGA+ (Make March Madness Great Again Plus).
What is a bracket challenge?
The NCAA Division I men’s basketball tournament starts with a bracket of 68 teams. Before the games begin, you can try your hand at predicting the winner for each one of the 67 games. As the games progress, you’ll get points for every winner you picked correctly. Those points increase every round (games in the second round are worth twice as much as games in the first round, and so on). At the end of the tournament, the player with the most points wins. FYI: With 147 quintillion possible outcomes, picking the winners of all 67 games in the annual NCAA basketball tournament is nearly impossible. For all you Lloyd Christmas types out there who believe there’s a chance, here’s the TL/DR version of the odds of a perfect NCAA bracket: 1 in 9,223,372,036,854,775,808.
Statistics have shown a little basketball IQ seasoned with a healthy dusting of Adderall may in fact increase your odds of a perfect bracket to 1 in 120.2 billion! We’re not meaning to be facetious, we understand everyone has dreams, it just so happens our dream is to crush yours. Data can be ruthless sometimes, so in an effort to lift your spirits we’ve compiled a fun list of events you’re statistically just as likely to experience as a perfect bracket:
- surviving a transatlantic flight on a Boeing 737 MAX
- plastic scoop lying at the top of a brand new bottle of protein powder
- plugging in a USB cable successfully on the first attempt
- wishing you owed more in taxes
- pleased you went with the least expensive tattoo artist
- anyone wanting to watch your 4th of July fireworks videos
- thankful you took one more shot at last call
- going to bed 8 hours before you have to get up
- your deadbeat dad coming back after going out for a pack of smokes
- giving a 110% percent at anything, ever
- grateful you didn’t save your work when Excel crashes
- a fedora being the right choice for any occasion
- a quick stop at the DMV
- RAC audit identifying an underpayment
- finding true love
- delighted you wore a Jon Snow costume to a Louisiana Ren Faire in August
- an eczema flare up at just the right time
- eggs at Costco
How to Play
Entry is completely FREE. Please encourage your coworkers to join the competition as it will increase the odds of your office winning the bonus prize. You will have to sign up for an ESPN account if you do not already have one. Selection Sunday is March 16 at 6PM EST. Mark your calendar and make sure to fill out your bracket. Brackets are only open for a limited time, and like a bottle of baby oil at a Diddy party, it won’t last long.
Rules: (see instructions)
- One entry per person
- Taunting, belittling, and slandering Empire employees is encouraged
Prizes (Winner-Take-All):
- $200 cash prize
- 36oz Yeti Water Bottle
Bonus Prize:
The office (company + location) that has the most total points will receive a lunch delivered to your door!
Instructions:
- Join our group| HERE
- Sign in or create an ESPN account
- Click “Create a Bracket Now!”
- Bracket Name = Company Name – Location – Initials (Example: Empire Medical – Medford – CE)
- In “Group Password” field enter: Bigwinner25
About Chris Empio
